Frequently Asked Questions
Losing a loved one can be a confusing and emotional time. Here are some frequently asked questions you may find useful.
What to do when someone dies?
Firstly, it is natural to feel upset and not to know what to do. Take it one step at a time and we can help you through each stage if you wish. We are only a phone call away, at any time of the day or night.
If the death happens at home and was expected, you should tell:
- the person’s doctor
- a funeral director.
A doctor will usually visit to confirm death and to give permission for the funeral director to take the person to a safe place.
Sometimes the doctor can give permission without the need for a visit. If this happens, the doctor will issue a death certificate later. You will need this to register the death, so keep it safely.
If the death was unexpected, violent or unusual in any way, you will also need to tell the police. This may feel alarming, but it is necessary, as the death may have to be reported to the Coroner. The police will be sensitive to the situation and will liaise with the Coroner.
If the death happened in a hospital or residential home the staff there will usually contact a doctor and arrange for the death certificate to be issued.
Residential homes are usually aware of their residents’ preferred funeral director and they can often make the call for you. Hospitals usually ask you to contact a funeral director yourself.
What services do you offer?
We can do as much, or as little, as you wish to enable the funeral to take place with dignity and according to your personal requirements. Except for actually registering the death, (which we are not allowed to do, by law), we are able to take care of everything else. No detail is too small to be worthy of our attention and we are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year, to assist you.
Organising a funeral can involve contact with a large number of firms and individuals (doctors, minister, cemetery, crematoria, newspapers, florists, to name a few) but we can help you with any or all of these. We know the people who we deal with and trust them to provide an excellent service.
We pride ourselves on treating every funeral with the same care and attention to detail that we would wish for our own loved ones, whether a large event in a cathedral, or a private family gathering.
How will the person who has died be taken away?
If the person died in hospital, they will be moved from the ward to the hospital chapel of rest where they can stay safely until forms have been completed. You can visit them there if you wish, just ask the hospital staff to guide you.
Sometimes the family has to sign a form at the hospital to allow the person to be collected by a funeral director. Once we have been given permission by the hospital, we will bring the person to our premises, quietly and with dignity.
If the death happened at home, or in a residential home, we can normally attend soon after. However, sometimes relatives may wish for the person to stay in the home for a while, perhaps overnight, to allow for a private farewell. We will attend at the most appropriate time afterwards to suit you.
Wherever the death happened, the person will be moved with as much dignity as possible, using specialist equipment as necessary. The person will be placed in a laundered sheet and great care will be taken with jewellery and personal effects.
A discreet vehicle is used to ensure privacy, and unnecessary attention. Upon arrival at our premises strict procedures are followed to ensure that the person can be accurately identified at all times.
How do I register the death?
When someone dies the law requires that the next of kin registers the death. This is done by visiting the Registrar of Births, Marriages and Deaths in the district where the death happened, and must be done within five working days in most cases, with occasional exceptions (if the Coroner is involved for example). We can help you to find the right Registrar’s office if necessary.
You will need to take the death certificate issued by the doctor. If you have the person’s medical card, also take that with you. The registrar will ask for the following information about the person who has died.
- The full name and surname of the person (including the maiden name if the person was a married female)
- The person’s usual home address
- The date and place of birth
- The date and place of death
- The person’s occupation (if the person was a married woman, or a widow, they will also ask for the name and occupation of her husband)
- If the person was married, the date of birth of the surviving widow or widower.
The registrar will give you a Green Certificate, which we will need, and a form to send to the Social Security Office with any pension or allowance books. Both of these forms are free, but for a small charge the registrar will give you copies of the death certificate. It is a good idea to get at least three copies, to help when dealing with the person’s estate.
What kind of funeral should we have?
There are many different types and styles of funeral and it is important to reflect the wishes of loved ones and the person who has died, as far as possible. We can help you by discussing the many different options available.
- If the person had a faith, it may be appropriate for the funeral to adhere to appropriate traditions. If the person was of no faith, a secular (non-religious) funeral may be more appropriate.
- We can assist with finding a minister or other appropriate person to conduct the funeral, and they will discuss the content of the service with you.
- A popular alternative to traditional burial or cremation is a green, woodland or environmentally friendly funeral, in which we specialise.
- The choice of music at a funeral service is very personal. We can assist with providing musicians or we can advise on using recorded music
- Family, friends, or the person taking the service may give tributes
- As an alternative to a traditional hearse, we can provide a horse-drawn hearse motorcycle hearse for a more personal touch
- We can also provide limousine transport for family members.
- Your may wish to personalise the day further by, for example, releasing a white dove or setting free some balloons
What happens at a cremation?
The funeral director looking after you on the day of the funeral will discuss with you whether you wish to follow the coffin into the crematorium chapel or if you prefer to be seated in the chapel before the coffin is brought in.
After a short service known as the committal, a curtain is normally drawn across the coffin. If you wish the coffin to remain on view until mourners have left the chapel, you should discuss this with the funeral director and the minister.
When the committal service has ended, the coffin enters the cremator a little while afterwards. Each cremation is carried out individually and a very strict procedure is followed so that you know you will receive the correct ashes.
After the service the funeral director shows you out of the chapel to the flower terrace where you may view the floral tributes and meet other mourners.
What happens at a burial?
There are many different options of sites available for burial. Due to a lack of space most churchyards are now closed for interment into new graves. Woodland Burial Parks are becoming increasingly popular as sites for burial. As well as being peaceful places of rest, the aim of Woodland Burial Parks is to be environmentally friendly. We will be able to advise you of the local cemeteries and burial parks available to you.
It may be appropriate for the burial to be preceded by a service in church before proceeding to the graveside. Alternatively there may be a cemetery chapel available at your chosen burial location in which to hold a service, or even it is possible to gather for a service around the graveside.
At the end of the service those who wish to follow behind the hearse carrying the coffin to the graveside. Some mourners may feel that they do not wish to attend this part of the burial and this is of course acceptable. This time of farewell at the graveside is known as the Committal, a small service which begins when all those wishing to attend are gathered around the grave.
At this time the pall bearers lower the coffin into the grave slowly and gently. The funeral director or minister may scatter earth into the grave. As a way of helping mourners to feeling included in this act of farewell you may be invited to scatter earth onto the coffin, or to throw a flower into the grave.
After the service we will arrange the floral tributes near to the grave for you to see as you meet with family members and friends to share memories.
What will we do with the ashes?
When arranging the funeral you will be asked to decide what will happen shortly after the cremation. The ashes can be held at the crematorium for up to six weeks and they may be collected by you or by us.
The ashes can be placed in the crematorium Garden of Remembrance. You may or may not wish to attend when the ashes are laid to rest and this is a personal decision. You may choose the location in the garden if you wish, and can arrange for a memorial if this is appropriate. The crematorium offers many choices and they will show you the gardens and explain the options to you.
A few people still like to keep the ashes of a loved one close to them and may keep them at home, or bury them in the garden. There may be a churchyard or family grave where the ashes can be interred.
Some people prefer to have the ashes scattered in a place that is personal to them – a fisherman may like to be scattered at the coast, a walker on a hilltop, or a golfer on a favourite course. You can even have memorial jewellery made from the ashes – we can discuss the many different options with you.